What's your mood?

 Hi everyone,

Since last time, I've been immersed in the Blogging Your Way Masterclass. There are lessons and homework every week, but I got a specific assignment from teacher Holly Becker before class even began: Transfer your blog over to Squarespace. Excited to get this push with a May 15 deadline, I dove in quickly but left the blog page for last.

That's where I am now and will be for months. Because Blogger has a completely different layout than Squarespace, I need to rebuild each post one by one in the new platform. So far, I'm through 2006 (50 posts), and I've already questioned several times whether this is worth it. 

However, as Holly suspected, I am much happier with the look of my blog. An unexpected bonus is that going through my old posts and drawings shows how prolific and consistent I was with goals and deadlines and, more importantly, how much I enjoyed making each drawing. I'll let you know if I still feel warm and fuzzy when I'm in the 400s, or if I'll want to jump out of a window. 

This is all to say, my revamped blog launch is a while away. Hopefully, it'll be worth the wait. In the meantime, here's my latest mood board for the new home of Melissa's Kitties. 

If you haven't guessed already, the blog will have a new name but the same Kitties. I couldn't think of anything else to call it but The Mother Kitty, after the magical cat who started it all. What do you think? 

She and you keep me inspired. I'll keep you posted on my progress with the Kitties new home. (Someday, it will be ready.) 

Melissa's Kitties blogs into a new era

Hi everyone,

For me, 2021 is a year of new beginnings. More than a year into the pandemic, I am working at home and still figuring out a daily routine that incorporates more healthy habits. (Will I ever stick to it?) I'm also intent on focusing the things that bring me joy every day. 

One of those things is sharing my kitty drawings on Melissa's Kitties blog, which I have done since 2006. I participated in the Illustration Friday drawing challenge, which provided a single word or topic each week for art inspiration. That humble beginning started on a whim with my first Illustration Friday drawing – "E is for... Environment" – and grew into today's 18 cuddly characters, a popular monthly film tribute series, and hundreds of random quirky kitty adventures. 

In recent years, I posted on my blog more sporadically, inconsistent in time and topic, because of personal distractions and lack of motivation. In fact, I burned out last year and stopped drawing altogether. Toward the end of 2020, however, I woke up from my unplanned hibernation and shook off the crustiness. I realized it's disrespectful to neglect Melissa's Kitties and its readers after the 15 years of joy they've given me.

Toward the end of the year, despite discovering that the Illustration Friday drawing challenge no longer existed, I slowly began drawing again....but....at a....snail's....pace. My heart was back in it, but something was still missing.

Then, I got an email from Holly Becker, founder of Decor8 and Decor8 Courses, pioneer blogger, and overall inspirational, nice person. In 2010, I took her great online course, Blogging Your Way, to learned the basics of blogging. (I still have all my notes!) After a break from teaching to focus on books, print media, and other work, Holly magically showed up in my inbox this year with a new blogging course – Attract, Engage, Grow! – and it couldn't have come at a better time! 

As the title suggests, this six-week course promises to help bloggers grow their platform with integrity and heart. I am ready to do it! 

For me, the lessons have been eye-opening and inspiring from the start, answering my nagging questions and providing special guest expertise on specific topics. Class began in mid-April, and I had an epiphany after the first week, which focused on finding my voice. I realized that Melissa's Kitties needs to get back to its original kitty-centric focus on a new, easy-to-use, modern platform. My blog needs love, attention, and maybe just a whole new start. 

With this in mind, I am renaming this blog: Melissa's Kitties is now The Mother Kitty, inspired by the cat who started it all. You might remember the recent post I wrote about her, Beauty. Those memories convinced me that the new blog name is the right one: It celebrates The OG Kitty, my original inspiration, everything that came after her, and everything she continues to inspire. 

For class homework, I created this mood board, representing my initial vision and inspiration for The Mother Kitty blog. 

There's not much to it: It's all about the kitties, their stories, personalities, and special talents. The Mother Kitty blog will continue to explore their fascinating lives through daily activities and special series, highlighting our mutual love for arts and entertainment. I am still working out content details as class continues, but the kitties and I are excited to reintroduce ourselves to you soon as The Mother Kitty family. 

Stay tuned for exciting changes this summer as we transfer to a new and improved blogging platform, where Melissa's Kitties blog will refresh, revive and move into The Mother Kitty's world! Thanks for sticking with us on this exciting journey, and don't forget to join us on Instagram @themotherkitty too. 

Lots of love, 

Happy New Year!

Hi everyone,

I don't think I've ever looked forward more to the start of a new year, and I know I'm not alone. While nothing is very different from a few days ago, I feel determined and motivated to make positive changes and look to the future with hope and optimism. 

One of my priorities is to refocus on drawing for my blog and building it into something larger. (I know I have said this before, but I might mean it this time.) 

I am going to find new sources of inspiration and practice drawing and posting more consistently. A new drawing series is swirling in my head, and I aim to get around to building a portfolio website with a store. These are all thoughts and works in progress right now, but I'll do my best to tackle things one at a time. So, please stay tuned!

Step one, here's a new blog banner featuring the growing Kitty family. What do you think of this crowd? They barely fit: It's a good thing they all get along. Shouldn't we all? 

 

Take care, everyone: Until safer times, keep wearing your mask, wash your hands, and stay socially distant – unlike the Kitties, here, but it's okay: They are in their Kitty Bubble.

New drawings and more are on the way. Here's to new beginnings in 2021!

Love, 

Out of hibernation

Hi everyone,

I know, it's been a long break.

After Christmas, my family and I traveled to Taipei, Taiwan, my mom's hometown, where we caught up with relatives. The last and only time I'd been to Taiwan was 20 years ago! This time around, we stayed at the famous Grand Hotel.

The Grand Hotel is where my parents were married nearly 50 years ago. 

We saw some Taiwanese kitties on rooftops.

Don't fall!

We found dragons on rooftops too.

The Lee cousins (seen here with their red jackets) were our wonderful tour guides. One of our stops was
LongShan Temple, which was built in the 1700s. 

We left Taipei for a few days to visit Sun Moon Lake in the countryside. It's only a few hours away by bus.

My parents hadn't been back to Sun Moon Lake since their honeymoon!

You can find more photos from our amazing trip to Taiwan on Instagram.

The scenic views were like paintings.

When I returned to D.C.'s freezing weather in early January, Lily and I decided to stay under a warm blanket in our comfy chair for the rest of winter.

This is one of her favorite positions.

Once I moved off my comfy chair, I began tidying up my apartment, per Maria Kondo's instructions. So far, I've cleaned out my clothes and books. I only got halfway through her book before being sidetracked by work with a career coach and search for a new job – a project that is still underway.

I've been busy dealing with life's little quirks and not focusing on my creativity, but the Kitties are never far from my thoughts. New posts are coming soon! Right now, our newest family member is busy attacking his big brother and climbing trees. He promises to sit still someday soon to tell me his story. Stay tuned...

In the meantime, enjoy these blossoms. Happy spring!

The cherry blossoms always brighten up this place. 

The Kitties are joining Instagram!

Hi everyone,

Yes, I'm still here!

My blog schedule has not gone as I planned in 2018! I was having some unexpected technical difficulties for a while with Photoshop Elements, which magically fixed itself. Also, I'm adjusting to yet another new (temporary) job while looking for a new (permanent) job. This situation has been consuming most of my thoughts, but I am still drawing and will have more to post here soon.

I'm going to develop a website for the kitties, too! (Right now, I need to decide on a template. I like them all for different reasons.). The new website will be called The Mother Kitty, after the cat who started it all. I'll get there slowly but surely.

In the meantime, you can join the kitties @themotherkitty on Instagram! There, in addition to some of my personal images, I'll post artwork that span this blog's existence – more than 10 years worth of kitties. This will help me sift through hundreds of illustrations and pick the favorites to feature on the website.

This transition will be a process, so bear with me. I may need to your help along the way to pick designs, drawings, and website features, so stay tuned to the blog for updates on my progress.

Also on the blog, I'll get back to posting more regularly drawings inspired by IllustrationFriday.com topics; another Johnny Kitties tribute, celebrating Murder on the Orient Express; some reviews of recent shows that I attended; and more.

Thanks for sticking with me. Happy spring!

Johnny Kitties: Celebrating Johnny Depp Film #49. Mortdecai (2015)

[What is Johnny Kitties? See Johnny Kitties: Celebrating Johnny Depp for all the details. Visit the Johnny Kitties page for a full list of Johnny Depp's filmography and links to all previous Johnny Kitties blog posts.]

Mortdecai is very unique and special. It's very different from anything I have done before. We haven't seen that type of caper movie for a number of years. If you go back and watch movies, like The Pink Panther or some of the wonderful French films with Louis de Funes, there's really something great about those caper films that teeter toward farcical. 
– Johnny Depp on Mortdecai




Who is Mortdecai?

Based on the novel Don't Point That Thing at Me by Kyril Bunfiglioli, Mortdecai stars Johnny Depp as an aristocratic art dealer, who is drowning in debt and denial. When his old friend and rival, Inspector Martland (Ewan McGregor), ropes him into helping to search for a stolen painting, he becomes bogged down by Russians, a terrorist, and other troubling inconveniences. With a beautiful but unhappy wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) at home, Charlie Mortdecai at least still has his trusty man servant Jock (Paul Bettany) always nearby to take care of everything. But will everything turn out all right in the end?

I tried to tame my anticipation.
Ewan McGregor has always been one of my favorite actors, but – unlike my Johnny Experience – I'm not sure how or when my love for Ewan McGregor began. I don't always know what movies he'll be in or when they're coming out, but I see them all. I love catching him on talk shows, but I never think to check for his name on the schedules ahead of time. I've even read his books about his motorcycle trips around the world, and I don't even like motorcycles.

I love them!!!

So, when I found out that Ewan McGregor signed on to co-star in Mortdecai with Johnny, I was thrilled. Then, when the Mortdecai previews came out, they made me laugh out loud. I was really excited about the director, David Koepp, who directed Johnny in Secret Window, and the rest of the cast, which included Paul Bettany, Gwyneth Paltrow, Olivia Munn, and Jeff Goldblum. Then, one day, it occurred to me that I was setting this thing up for failure: No pressure, everyone, I just want this to be the best movie ever.

So, I went back to trying to ignore it was happening. It wasn't too hard because I was distracted by an endless string of colds that I was trying to expel from my body with Sudafed and sleep.

There's a first time for everything. 

By the time Mortdecai opened, my most recent persistent cold had dragged my mood back down to blahville, and I kept putting off seeing Mortdecai during opening weekend. Because I was indecisive about when I had to leave my apartment, I ended up scanning the theater schedules on Fandango, where I couldn't help being shocked by Mortdecai's cumulative critics' score of 12 out of 100. So I did what I never do – looked at what critics had to say. I didn't actually read the reviews, but saw some short, memorable takeaways, like:

• "Charmless, mirthless, witless, this waste of time is another black mark on Depp's card, while his co-stars fare little better. Even low expectations won't help you here." 

• "Mortdecai is an anachronistic mess that never succeeds..." 

• "What a frantically dull spectacle this vanity project is."

• "Johnny Depp's done so much for us over the years; let's forget this movie ever happened." (I don't think this one was from Fandango, but it's my favorite.) 

Come on, it can't be that bad, I thought. Yet, by the time I got out of the house to see Mortdecai that Sunday afternoon, I approached it like an errand.

It's not a good look, Johnny!

And I hated it! I couldn't believe how much I hated it so immediately. I sat, stunned and annoyed by Johnny's wimpy character, pleading in my head to him to talk normally and slower and just be more Johnny-like. When that didn't work, I searched frantically for something good to say about Mortdecai. What about his co-stars, the sets, the direction, and the story? What was even going on in this story? I couldn't follow it. Why were the jokes so stupid? How many times were they going to refer to that horrible mustache? I finished my popcorn and began falling asleep – another troubling first. In the theater, though, one person kept me awake: A big black guy, who sat a few rows in front of me,  cracked up at everything! Does that guy represent the audience for this movie?, I wondered. I left the theater bewildered, disappointed, and very panicked that I got nothing out of what I just saw; did this mean the end of Johnny Kitties?

Jock saves the day here....

"Johnny doesn't have to make awesome movies every time," my dad said when I told him my horrible news. But he does and he has, I disagreed unreasonably in my head. Clearly, I was under the influence of nagging illness, Sudafed, and mean critics when I first saw Mortdecai. (My advice to everyone is don't read reviews before seeing a movie and make up  your own mind.) Still, I worried while waiting for the movie to be released on DVD. What if, after my cold is gone, Mortdecai is still completely awful?

Relax, I'm over it. 

I may have been recovering from something still when Mortdecai arrived from Netflix. I had to restart it a few times because I kept falling asleep. Maybe it was leftover trauma from my first viewing, my fear of a second reaction, or maybe I was just really tired. My unplanned naps were a good thing: the more times I had to start the movie over to watch it again, the funnier it got. It turns out that I actually like Mortdecai after all!

He takes care of things here too.

Still, this isn't my favorite of Johnny's roles. His accent, which didn't bother me at all in the commercials, sometimes gets on my nerves after a while; other times, I can't even understand what he says. Also, this character bumbles around a lot. When trouble brews, he just asks his man servant what he should do and waits around for someone else to fix his situation. This helplessness takes me out of the movie at times because, obviously, Johnny can take care of himself. In some moments, I just want him to be cooler, as I know Johnny can be. Johnny's above some of this movie's humor, in my opinion, which I just don't always find funny or clever. Maybe I'll get there after more viewings.

This still may be my favorite moment. 

In any case, Johnny explained himself in a DVD featurette, which helped me appreciate everything about Mortdecai more. Someone gave him the book that Mortdecai is based on, which he describes as "one of those books that makes you laugh out loud. It's just so beautifully irreverent and insane, but it's one of those stories, you're thinking, it translates to cinema only if you go to the extreme." He describes his character as pure and honest, someone who never thinks about what others are thinking. Charlie Mortdecai always assumes things will work out, despite whatever chaos is surrounding him, and whatever he says he believes to be true. Knowing that, I found everything about this character funnier and even a little endearing. Maybe I need to read the book for a full understanding.

By the fourth and final time I restarted and watched Mortdecai, I found plenty to like about it. Before the movie came out, everyone involved was comparing it to The Pink Panther movies,directed by Blake Edwards and starring Peter Sellers. Comparing this or any new movie to any classic, like The Pink Panther, is not a good idea; why put that standard in people's heads? However, I know why they all made the comparison, even if it's an unequal match. I see what they were going for with the performances and David Koepp's slick direction. From the opening credits on, you get the light-hearted, comedic feel for what's to come.

Spinoza is a mechanic full of creative insults.

Johnny's performance may be distracting in some moments, but it's brilliant in others. The rest of the cast is wonderful too. My favorite is Paul Whitehouse – who's shown up in several of Johnny's movies, like Finding Neverland, Alice in Wonderland, and Corpse Bride. His brief appearance here as Spinoza makes me laugh out loud every time. I'm also happy to see Olivia Munn in this movie because she always makes me laugh too. Paul Bettany, who previously co-starred with Johnny in The Tourist and Transcendence, makes an impressive, funny tough guy. Gwyneth Paltrow is great, as usual (and in an equally great wardrobe), and Ewan McGregor is, of course, awesome.

Timing is everything in this movie, and this cast not only gets it right but seemed to have a blast working on it. "It's the most fun I've ever had on set," Johnny says. His kissing scene with Gwyneth Paltrow, in which she's too repulsed by his new mustache and which was in all of the commercials for Mortdecai, apparently took 15 or so takes because they couldn't stop laughing. "Most of my energy on set has been spent trying not to laugh," Paul Bettany admits.

These high spirits come through in the final product. I suspect they might even be contagious; as I said, I laughed more and more with each viewing. And, again, I saw some critic reviews without even trying – this time noting the DVD release – saying that Mortdecai is worth another look. But don't take their fickle word for it. I promise, Mortdecai will grow on you, so give it a chance!

These are my two favorite kitties!
I was really worried about finding something to draw for Mortdecai at first; it's one of the reasons I had to watch it four times. Since the most exciting thing about this movie to me was the prospect of Johnny and Ewan working together, I limited my options to the scenes they shared. Unfortunately, they don't have many. (They'll make up for it by working together again someday, right, casting directors?) Luckily, however, I realized eventually that one of their scenes is the key to everything.

In this scene, Inspector Martland (Comet) reveals the plot when he enlists Charlie Mortdecai (Gordon) to help him find a stolen painting. In return, his host offers him some rancid cheese. This scene not only tells you the plot, but captures Charlie Mortdecai's posh lifestyle and past, these characters and their rivalry, and even secret treasures. I stuck Jock (Norman) in there too because he really is always around to save the day.

What's next?
Johnny hears my illness-induced complaints and sinks his teeth into a serious drama, playing mobster Whitey Bulger in Black Mass. I haven't seen the previews yet and am afraid of the violence in store, but I'm very excited just the same. See it September 18th! A Johnny Kitties tribute will follow its DVD release.

Photo credits: All images © Lionsgate

Johnny Kitties: Celebrating Johnny Depp Film #48. Into the Woods (2014)

[What is Johnny Kitties? See Johnny Kitties: Celebrating Johnny Depp for all the details. Visit the Johnny Kitties page for a full list of Johnny Depp's filmography and links to all previous Johnny Kitties blog posts.]

Happy birthday, Johnny!

Johnny on Jimmy Kimmel Live! in early 2015

Here's the latest Johnny Kitties tribute....

The one thing I love about this film is there's so much entertainment. It's so much fun – the joy, the ride of it. – Director Rob Marshall

It's so far beyond anything you could have expected because it is. You know all these characters from your youth in a deep way, but when they come to life in this sense, you get to know more about them, and it's even spookier and it's even funnier and it's even weirder. It's a brilliant idea. It's beautifully put together. – Johnny Depp

Go to the Woods!

In this film adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's musical, the fairytale characters that we all know and love come to life and coincide in a new adventure. Cursed by the Witch (Meryl Streep) to remain childless, the Baker (James Corden) and his Wife (Emily Blunt) head into the woods to break her spell by finding four requested items in three days' time: a cow as white as milk, a cape as red as blood, hair as yellow as corn, and a slipper as pure as gold. On their journey, they find an indecisive Cinderella (Anna Kendrick), contemplating the prince (Chris Pine) she's met at the ball; Jack (Daniel Huddlestone), to whom they give some magic beans; and Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford), who runs into trouble with the sly Wolf (Johnny Depp) on the way to her grandmother's house. The Witch, too, has her own set of problems, including trying to keep her restless daughter Rapunzel (Mackenzie Mauzy) safely hidden away in a lonely tower. Directed by Rob Marshall, Into the Woods takes you on a high-spirited, entertaining ride that turns these familiar stories into something modern, fresh, and more relatively realistic. It turns out that happily ever after isn't always how things end. 

If at first you don't succeed...
I first saw Into the Woods in Ohio with my parents just after Christmas. It was my dad's idea, but soon after the lights went out, he fell asleep. My mom stayed awake but her first comment after the movie ended was, "That was a little long." I admit, I felt that was true. But maybe it only seemed long because the screen was small and far away from where we sat; everyone around us in this packed little space had noisy colds, kept fidgeting, and walking in and out of the theater; and dad was snoring. It wasn't the best experience, especially when Johnny showed up 20 minutes into the movie and was finished about 5 minutes later. 

I waited until Into the Woods came out on DVD to see it again in my apartment, where I gave it my full, undivided attention. That's when I discovered that this movie is actually a really good one.  

What's to Love?

Stephen Sondheim with cast members at the
Into the Woods world premiere in December 2014

The music. I was unfamiliar with Into the Woods before I saw this movie, even though it debuted on Broadway in 1987 and has been popular ever since. While I knew it was a musical, I was still surprised by the amount of singing involved. Everyone sings, and they sing together seamlessly, even when they're their scenes take them to different locations to focus on their own life stories and problems. Sixty musicians recorded the songs in a studio with the cast; the recordings were then blasted on set during the scenes while the cast belted the songs out again, singing along to the recorded versions. The extra layer of coolness here is that what they sang on set while filming was also recorded and, for the final product, both versions were mixed together to make the singing match best with whatever is happening in the scene. "When we need the [studio] recordings, we have them; and when it's live and working, we use that as well," producer Marc Platt explains. "What you get is a seamless marriage of the two, but you get performances that are so brilliant." 

These impressive songs are unmistakably Stephen Sondheim's with their fast-paced, clever lyrics and challenging melodies. I loved how they moved the stories along; you really had to listen for that reason. "It's a very lyric-heavy piece, and in those lyrics is the story," Rob Marshall explains. "That's how Stephen Sondheim wrote it. That's how he writes. He writes as if it's a scene. Everything's a scene; it's not a number." Producer John De Luca concurs, "There's relentless intelligence in Stephen Sondheim. The lyrics – every time you listen, you hear something new." 

The direction. Rob Marshall is good at directing musicals, and this one doesn't disappoint. "He's very true to his vision of the author's work. His approach is very pure, and he's out there to make something beautiful, affecting, artistic, emotional," Johnny says. Here, he creates a world and puts you in it. The camera takes you into to the action, like when it follows the jerky movements of the Wolf spying on Little Red Riding Hood through the bushes. It sweeps you along with the music, moving like a dancer to Stephen Sondheim's orchestrations. 

The movie isn't so long as it is packed with stories. At times when story lines conclude, others begin, which left me wondering how this thing was going to end. Yet, from start to finish, you're never bored because Rob Marshall keeps all the pieces moving in an environment that becomes its own key character. "How the woods sounds and feels, the sonic texture of it, was a vital ingredient in bringing the world alive and making it feel vibrant and specific to the story being told at the time," Marc Platt explains. These woods may be intimidating, but plenty goes on in there to keep us well entertained. 

The cast. This all-star cast is impressive. Meryl Streep earned her 19th Oscar nomination for playing the Witch in this movie and it's clear why: she's the best witch out there. In this movie, everyone shines. I particularly liked James Corden and Emily Blunt as a desperate yet determined couple on a mission. Newcomer Lilla Crawford was also fantastic as Little Red Riding Hood. 

It must have been difficult for cast members to take such popular characters and make them modern and uniquely their own, but each is fully realized with gusto. "It's visually fun and emotionally satisfying," Meryl Streep says of the film. "But it also has this other thing that is what engages us as artists and makes us want to bring everything we can to it." They all definitely bring it, but no one stands out and above the rest in my eyes (well, Meryl Streep and Johnny aside). As Rob Marshall says, "It's all about the piece and all about the ensemble – everybody working together to create this magic." 

The Wolf. While short, Johnny's performance as the Wolf is a memorable one. He sings one song, "Hello, Little Girl," while sneakily eyeing his unassuming prey. Who knew Johnny would ever sing another song on film after Sweeney Todd? "I was very excited to do it," Johnny says of the role. "I was honored and somewhat proud that not only Rob [Marshall] and John [De Luca] wanted me to play the Wolf, but Sondheim again believed in me to play the part and to sing his notes. It's one of those moments that you realize you will never in  your life have an opportunity like that again, as an actor or as a musician; it's kind of a joy to approach, even though it's incredibly daunting." 

Before the movie came out, I saw Johnny's costume and immediately thought of the Big Bad Wolf character in the classic Tex Avery cartoons I grew up watching, like this one. It turns out that that's what Johnny was going for: a cool '50s-style wolf in a zoot suit, who could be seen more as a villain than the literal animal. "The idea with the Wolf is that he is the Wolf of Little Red Riding Hood's imagination, so we didn't want to put Johnny in a wolf suit or give him a fur collar," costume designer Colleen Atwood explains. I can really see that cartoon inspiration in Johnny's appearance and performance. He brought that Big Bad Wolf to life, and I love it!

Watch out, Kitties!
Here's Johnny's key scene, becoming acquainted with his next meal (Mini). 

It's too bad that I couldn't fit my favorite part of this scene in here, when the Wolf sneaks some quick sniffs of the goodies in Red Riding Hood's basket while her gaze is turned, but these lyrics take up a lot of room. Stephen Sondheim's wordy, but in the best way. These lyrics are killer. 

What's next? 
One of my dreams came true when Ewan McGregor signed on to costar with Johnny in Mortdecai. We'll celebrate this dreamy pairing, among other things, next month on July 9th!

Photo credits: All film images © Disney Pictures; photo of Johnny Depp © ABC; cast photo © Kevin Mazur/WireImages.  

Johnny Kitties: Celebrating Johnny Depp Film #47 – Tusk (2014)

[What is Johnny Kitties? See Johnny Kitties: Celebrating Johnny Depp for all the details. Visit the new Johnny Kitties page for a full list of Johnny Depp's filmography and links to all previous Johnny Kitties blog posts.]

I pushed whimsy all the way into making a movie, one of my favorite movies I've ever made....a movie that absolutely changed my life....Push whimsy; that's all I'm gonna say.

Never mind what the marketplace demands. Nobody's looking for a movie about a guy who turns another guy into a walrus except you. Make it the ultimate movie that you wanna watch.

Let's see how weird we can take this.

– Writer/Director Kevin Smith on making Tusk

What kind of movie is this?

In Tusk, a horror movie written and directed by Kevin Smith, controversial podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) gets into a bad situation while looking for a story for next week's episode. He meets old seafaring adventurer Howard Howe (Michael Parks), who has a story to tell and a hidden agenda. Eventually, Mr. Howe reveals that, while trapped on an island, he formed a life-changing connection to a walrus and, since then, intends to find someone to replace his long-lost friend. Wallace's podcast partner (Haley Joel Osment) and girlfriend (Genesis Rodriguez) become alarmed by phone messages from Wallace, saying that he's in the backwoods of Canada, trapped in a creepy house with a crazy guy who wants to turn him into a walrus. So, they set off to rescue him with the help of a special investigator who's already on the trail. 

Why does Johnny have to be in this movie?

I've never been so freaked out about seeing a movie. You might remember that, these days, scary movies really scare me. I must have watched An American Werewolf in London and Poltergeist too many times as a kid. 

When Tusk arrived in D.C., I planned to see it in the middle of the afternoon so that I'd be able to go home in broad daylight and have the rest of the day to shake it off. As it happened, however, I was out of town over opening weekend and realized the following Thursday that Tusk wasn't going to last in theaters. I had to go that night, if at all. I texted my dilemma to a friend, who always helps me reason these things out:

Me: I think Tusk is leaving local theaters today. I might have to see it tonight, in the dark. 

Her: Don't do it! For your own sake!

Me: Really? Is it THAT bad?

Her: It depends on your tolerance, but the trailers are not encouraging.

Me: I know, yet I'm hoping for some Kevin Smith humor to diffuse things...I'm reading moviegoer reviews... 

Me, a little later: Reviews are not helping to make up my mind.

I made it across the street from my apartment before I realized that my friend is right: there is no shame in waiting for the DVD so that I could be freaked out in the comfort of my own apartment with my cat for company. Netflix delivered Tusk to me in January, and I texted my friend the news:

Me: I just watched Tusk and survived.

Her: Ewww!

   

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really like this movie! I started out peeking through my fingers to watch it, waiting for something sudden, awful, and disgusting to happen. I was cozy under a blanket with my cat by my side and found myself entertained, intrigued, and impressed. 

See where creativity can lead?

Kevin Smith and SModcast
partner in crime, Scott Moiser

I think most people know Kevin Smith from his popular films Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Dogma. As his popularity grew, so did his studio offers. One of the best things about Kevin Smith's work, though, is that he fully immerses himself in it by writing the story and script and filming it as he sees it. When he started getting hired as a director for movies he had nothing to do with developing, he didn't see the point and became disenchanted by the movie business. So, he walked away from Hollywood, content to make a decent living doing other things, like making live appearances about his work and podcasting.

Since 2007, Kevin Smith has been broadcasting podcasts (or SModcasts, as he calls them) through his company, SModCo. During his SModcast, called "The Walrus and The Carpenter," he mentioned an ad that he saw in a British newspaper: someone has a room to rent, and all you have to do to live there is dress up like a walrus for 2 hours every day. "The line that really captured my imagination was, 'I have for some time been constructing a realistic walrus costume.'" The story was a hoax, but by the end of the podcast, Kevin Smith had worked out a horror flick based on the story. He called for the opinions of his listeners: if they want to see this movie, tell him through Twitter by using #WalrusYes. If not, use #WalrusNo. More people responded positively, so he got started on a script. "I could've been stopped any step of the way," he says. "I could've been stopped easily, but I just pushed whimsy every day. I said, 'let me see how far I can take this.'" Along the way, many people encouraged him because they just wanted to see if he could pull off this crazy idea. 

Why didn't this horror movie traumatize me as expected? 

Apparently, Kevin Smith and I love movies for the same reasons. 

Good acting gets us every time; it beats car chases and explosions, hands down. "The movie magic to me is always performance. Acting is the real magic trick of movies to me – that goes beyond even movies, into theater and stuff like that – telling a lie that tells the truth. So for me, the idea of Tusk was a movie about acting. It's an acting movie. It's actor porn. It's like watching people delve so deeply into their character that you forget."

Michael Parks is in some things I've seen, like the Twin Peaks TV series, Kill Bill Volume 1, and Argo, but I don't remember him in those. In Tusk, he's amazing as a calm, creepy psycho. I was hooked very early on by his lengthy conversations with Justin Long, which slowly reveal that he's off his rocker. As Kevin Smith says, this is Michael Parks's movie. 

Kevin Smith takes the best approach to horror. 

Because this movie is so focused on the actors' performances, you only get suggestions of something disgusting. I appreciate that! This movie only shows a few glimpses of blood and gore and let's your imagination do the rest. Your imagination can probably create something scarier than anything anyone could physically show you. The gross factor is not overplayed in Tusk. It's on film purposefully, though the premise of Tusk does call for a little shock value: after all, this crazy guy has a hostage whom he plans to turn into a walrus. Be prepared: you will see some making of a walrus costume out of disgusting materials. You will see the walrus costume itself, which is disgusting (especially when you think about how it was made and with what). 

But don't worry; it's movie magic! Makeup and special effects expert Robert Kurtzman created the walrus costume lovingly, thoughtfully, and with skilled detail. "Where I think Bob really earns his money is in the eyes, Production Designer John D. Kretschmer says. "He created these wonderful imaginary creatures for the show, and for several weeks, we saw the creatures on the worktable, but what really surprised me is how elegantly and seamlessly he can join the actor to the creature. The money's in the eyes – the expression, the emotion, stuff that prevailed in the walrus suit is amazing, and that's truly where I see his genius." I can handle it when you put it that way. 

Kevin Smith is a clever writer and makes me laugh. 
As I had hoped, Kevin Smith did for Tusk's script what he does for all his scripts. Tusk is infused with smart dialogue and his sense of humor. What you get is a great mix of creepiness and horror with a wink to the over-the-top ridiculousness of this situation. "Tusk is best viewed through a comedic lens," he says. Some lines in this movie made me laugh out loud. One of my favorite conversations follows, courtesy of Hayley Joel Osment as Wallace's best friend Teddy and Johnny Depp as investigator Guy LaPointe:

Guy: "These are guns."

Teddy: "I don't want one."

Guy: "You don't want a gun? What kind of American are you?"

Teddy: "The kind that's never used a gun before!"

Can you believe I haven't mentioned Johnny until now? 

Johnny's involvement in Tusk was kept pretty well under wraps. The credits even say that "Guy LaPointe" is played by Guy LaPointe. I found out about his secret role through other fans and eagerly awaited this collaboration with Kevin Smith, despite my reservations about the genre. Guy LaPointe is a character from one of Kevin Smith's older SModcasts. Originally, Quentin Tarantino was approached to play the part but turned it down to focus on non-acting pursuits. I'm glad because I immediately fell in love with Johnny's  performance – the accent, mannerisms, and humor. I should disclose that I was also very relieved to see him and that he offered some laughs after all the stress that Michael Parks was inflicting on me. Some reviewers think that Johnny's performance in Tusk is out of place but most were just surprised by it and his unrecognizable look. Entertainment Weekly's synopsis of Tusk recommended, "Wait until an uncredited A-lister (we won't say who) turns up two-thirds of the way through to hand in his most berserk performance to date (and that's saying something)." I won't ruin it for you, but I agree.  

Buddies, Harley Smith and Lily-Rose Depp, in character

The Kitties are in Canada. 

The most exciting thing about this movie for me is that Johnny's daughter Lily-Rose makes her screen debut. Kevin Smith's daughter Harley is always in his movies somehow, but Tusk offers her first speaking role as a  teenage store clerk. I think Kevin Smith and Johnny have been good friends since their daughters met in kindergarten, and the day Harley shot her scenes, Lily-Rose came to the set. Kevin asked Johnny if he thought she'd want to be in the scenes with Harley, they asked, and stars were born! 

Aside from these girls' convincing performances as teens tied to their cell phones and bored by their after-school jobs, I love the store's Canadian decor with a bunch of flags of all sizes, tourist traps, and a wall of maple syrup. I also love that when Guy LaPointe does his trick with the pad of paper, Teddy (Comet) explains to Wallace's girlfriend (Ashes) that it was done in The Big Lebowski (because that's the first thing I thought of when he started scratching away with that pencil). 

Tusk is among Kevin Smith's favorite film experiences for many reasons: 

• It gave him the opportunity to share the creative process with his fans from start to finish. The moment of inspiration and brainstorming phase are captured on that infamous SModcast episode. His followers encouraged him from the beginning to move his idea forward, and they watched it grow from there to silver screen. 

• The experience of making Tusk was similar to that of Clerks: he was making a movie because he wanted to see it, and he did whatever he could to take his inspiration as far as it could go. The experience reawakened his love for filmmaking. 

• He worked with his daughter and witnessed how she and Lily-Rose discovered how much they liked acting. Their few scenes in this movie led him to write another movie, called Yoga Hosers, in which they are central characters. (Guy LaPointe returns in that movie too!) In fact, Kevin Smith was so inspired by Tusk that he turned it into The True North Trilogy. Can you guess what the third installment, Moose Jaws, is about? 

• Because of Tusk, he has the money to finance Clerks 3, a sequel that continues Kevin Smith's cult classic. 

See what can happen when you get the silliest of ideas and a little encouragement? Kevin Smith is a believer and he hopes we all are too: "It costs you nothing to pat an artist on the back, man, and the potential yield from it: maybe you get your favorite movie, a song that saves your life, or an idea where you get to express yourself through art. Keep doing that! People who are really profoundly affected by the movie, they're going to make some art, and that to me is one of the many reasons the whole journey was worth it, man. That's a cool thing! Art begets art, even weird art." I'm a little late to the party, but #WalrusYes!

Johnny seems more like himself here. 

In 2013, Johnny made a quick appearance in a film called Lucky Them. In this movie, a music journalist (Toni Colette), whose musician boyfriend released a spectacular and hugely popular debut album and soon after disappeared, is tasked with trying to find him 10 years later. As I watched this movie, at first, I was unsympathetic toward Toni Collette's unlikeable character until I realized that, if I were traumatized by my boyfriend's disappearance and possible suicide, I'd probably be pretty messed up too. Then, the ending credits turned me into a fan of this movie. It is sweetly dedicated to one of my heros, Paul Newman, and produced by his wife Joanne Woodward! Here's the scoop:

Lucky Them is written by Emily Wachtel, who is great friends with one of Paul Newman's daughters. He read drafts of her script, gave her some advice about it, and even  planned to be in the movie. Years went by, he got sick and died, and his wife helped out once the project started to gain momentum. Johnny was the first choice for his role, and I see why the character appeals to him. Besides that, a couple of his old friends are in this movie: Thomas Hayden Church, whom he first met on the set of 21 Jump Street, and Oliver Platt, with whom he costarred in Benny and Joon). For me, Lucky Them is as close as I'm going to get to my dream of having Johnny and Paul Newman work together. I'll take it, even if one of them is only helping out in eternal spirit.

And I think Johnny did this too. 

Johnny and Amber
at the Texas Film Awards, May 2014

Though they haven't confirmed it, evidence is out that Johnny and Amber Heard, his costar in The Rum Diary, got married last month in a private ceremony at home in Los Angeles on February 3. They followed that with a fancier ceremony and party the following weekend on Johnny's private island in the Caribbean. Congratulations to the happy couple. I'd share photos, but they're not. 

What's next? 

Let's go Into the Woods, but beware the Big, Bad Wolf! This DVD is set for release on March 24, 2015. A Johnny Kitties tribute to it will soon follow. 

To read more film reviews and artwork celebrating Johnny Depp's work, visit the new Johnny Kitties page. 

Credits: All Tusk images: © Demarest Films/SModcast Pictures; Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier photo © unknown; Lucky Them DVD cover © IFC Films; Johnny Depp and Amber Heard photo © Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images